The beginning of the school year is once again upon us.  DJ is starting 1st grade on September 7th.  I am definitely in a better frame of mind than I was last year around this time.  When DJ started school for the first time year, many thoughts and emotions filled my mind.  Worried about how DJ was going to deal in a school setting after being in home care for the past 5 years, hoping he would make lots of friends. 

Things took a turn for the worse his FIRST week of school.  His teacher would pull me aside to complain about how he wouldn't sit still and wouldn't really participate in class.  I was shocked.  DJ has never gotten in trouble before for anything he did.  He was always so good.  His sitter thought he was an angel.  He received a time out maybe once every six months or so.  I also couldn't understand how they expected a 5 year to sit cross legged on the floor with their hands folded for 45 minutes at a time.  I don't even sit still!

Each month, it grew worse.  In October, she told me flat out my son would be failing kindergarten because of his social skills.  He was sent to the disciplinarian's office more times in one month than I was sent in my whole 12 years of school.  The notes came home day after day after day. 

DJ started to develop a behavior problem.  A serious behavior problem.  By December, our house started to resemble a war zone.  The littlest thing would have him crying and yelling and screaming at me.  By little things, I'm talking about he would drop his pencil on the floor and I would tell him he dropped it and he'd freak out on me.  I was at my wit's end.  I wanted him out of the school.

No one at the school was any help to me.  DJ was in the disciplinarian's office every day for not sitting still.  The counselor wanted him to get tested for to pinpoint the problems he was having.  I wanted to scream at them that his problems started in YOUR school, the day your teacher gave up on him.  Instead I signed the papers to have him tested. 

A few other parents noticed when they came in for Parent day ( each parent had to help 3 days out of the school year) that DJ was always set aside from the rest of the class.  They didn't like it.  I didn't like it.  I was ready to pull him out of the school.  I was so fed up with everything.  I just wanted my little boy back. 

My mother works for a child abuse agency.  One of the social workers there was talking to me recently.  Mrs. B was very upset with the way DJ was being treated in the school at his age.  She was very worried about all the emotional outbursts he was having.  Mrs. B explained to me DJ was experiencing negativity all day in school and the littlest thing resembling negativity at home would of course set him off.  She told me he was always on the defensive.  What I needed to do was be extra, extra positive, constantly...no matter what.  So I did, and it worked.

It even got better.  His test results came back.  He was diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder which is a highly functioning form of Autism.  I know you're thinking how could I think this is better?  True, there is no “cure” for Autism.  I feel my son has a very mild form of it.  Then again, maybe he doesn't.  He's my only child.  I never grew up with kids so this is all I know.  This isn't “hard”.  This is my baby. 

DJ has so many positive points.  He's a very happy child.  He loves love.  He loves hugs and kisses.  He likes to still hold my hand in the mall.  He chatters constantly.  His knowledge is astounding.  The list goes on and on.  Did I mention he can take apart/hook up a tv, cable box, dvd player, vcr, and game system faster than any a/v person you know?

What more could I ask for? 

Sure, he's very very repetetive.  After we leave Blockbuster, he'll ask me 30 times in the 5 minute car ride home if we can go back tomorrow.  He has issues with haircuts.  He's not really happy with the vacuum cleaner.  He likes to watch the same scene over and over again in a movie, in rewind, in fast forward, in slow motion, and paused continuously.

I take it all in stride.  I answer him with, “we'll see,“ 30 times in the 5 minute car ride home.  I cut his hair at home.  He listens to a walkman when I run the vacuum cleaner.  I bought him his own vcr so he can burn himself out. 

The school thing is great now.  Because he was diagnosed he was transferred to another school in the city that has a special classroom designed for children with autism.  Two teachers with a max of 6 students.  The day we had the transfer meeting, Mrs. B attended with me to make sure DJ's rights didn't get screwed.  The highlight of the meeting for me was when they told me he would be transferred in 4 days and he could stay in this school until he started the other one.  I looked at each one of them.  Each one of these educators who were supposed to protect my child and treat him well and told them he will never step foot in this school again.  He doesn't learn anything and he spends most of his time in the disciplinarian's office, really, what's the point?

In the last few months of the school year, DJ did a complete turn around in the new school.  He learned so much!  He did great on his homework.  He loved his school, loved his classmates, loved his teacher.  It was a wonderful, enriching experience, one that I wished he experienced the first time around.  His teacher kept a journal she sent home ever day about how he did in school.  I was able to write and talk about what he did at home.  The absolute best thing is he will have the same teachers through 3rd grade at least and then we start evaluating to see if he's able to start to mainstream in a few other classes but there is no rush.   

To get back on topic....I can't wait for school to start this year.  I'm so excited for DJ.  I know this is going to be a great experience.  I know what to expect.  It's going to be a great school year!