I opened the freezer to get an ice cube.  Instead I find one of DJ's books.  Upon questioning, DJ tells me it's easier to read when the book is frozen.  I think I have basically given up trying to understand his logic.  I moved the book to the door of the freezer and shut the freezer.  I then went on with my daily activities.

I was NOT one of the estimated 1 million sitting on the Parkway.  I spent my day by the pool, thank you very much.  Pops asked me Friday if PIC and I were going.  I looked at him like he was crazy.  PIC and I had no intentions of hopping on the bus to down there.  Maybe, just MAYBE if U2 were going to be live in Philly, I would have mulled it over.  I still would have come to the same conclusion.  At least I would have thought about it though. 

If you didn't know, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is going to be in stores on July 16th.  I was originally going to drag DJ to Barnes & Noble at 12am to get one of the first copies because I am crazy like that.  Until I noticed that Walmart is going to be selling the book cheaper then B&N.  Instead I'll get up nice and early and be in front of Walmart at 7am when the doors open.  I plan on spending the day by the pool reading my book. 

True, it's not that much cheaper.  B&N is completely out of my way.  As big as Philly is, we really don't have any bookstores.  Honestly.  I think we have 2 downtown.  None anywhere else.  I hate that.  I love books.  I have to trek out of city to go to a bookstore.  Even in other cities, there's not that many and I think they are all B&N's.  That drives me crazy. 

Here I Am
posted 07/31/2005 @ 11:00pm

An Asperger Adventure
posted 07/24/2005 @ 11:52am

Last year, DJ had an inner tube he swam around the pool with.  He absolutely hated getting water in his face.  It took him almost the whole summer to get used to splashing in the water from other kids.  He still refused to put his face in the water.

This year I had to buy him an adult inner tube which sucks because it makes it harder for him to use his arms.  The child ones just don't fit him anymore.  This weekend he wanted me to go out and buy him one of those noodle things.  So I did.  He likes that alot.  He refused to use one last year. 

Then yesterday he started holding his nose and dipping his whole head under really quick.  I was SO proud of him.  I couldn't believe he actually conquered his fears.  He told me he's scared of drowning.  NO, I've never once drowned him or almost drowned him:)  Wait, it gets better.

Today, I hear him call out, "Mom, watch this."  Threw the noodle to the side and went underwater!  And he was swimming!  Under water!  Ok, major exclamation point usage today.  Get over it.  I'm half laughing, half crying because this is a huge accomplishment for DJ.  I mean HUGE.

So I jump in with him and he swims under water to THE OTHER SIDE OF THE POOL!  OMG!  I was totally freaking out!  I am so proud of him right now.  I just can't believe it.  Two days ago he wouldn't wet his face now he's under water swimming like a fish. 

I'm in the pool today thinking...this is what it's all about (being a mom and all).  Nobody helped him with this.  He didn't want any help.  He did this totally on his own.

Then he came home and told me his penis is huge.  Yea, this is just what I wanted to hear:)

Ok for a while there I was going crazy with home life and trying to figure out how to balance fun in DJ's summer with the goals we are aiming for.  Pops isn't much help and it just seems like every day he throws a wrench in my careful plans.  But it's an adjustment and DJ and I are trying to work through it.  It's a shame.  I feel so bad for him.  My dad lets him watch tv the whole time I'm at work.  Which is definitely not good for him.  So that means no TV for the rest of the night for him.  So he's not a happy little camper right now. 

I realized I accommodated my dad way too much when he came here.  I understand he wants to do "grandfather" things but he just CAN'T.  When he moved in, he started letting DJ watch TV before school and after school.  DJ was never allowed to watch TV on school days - neither before or after.  I mean, I'm trying to work on attention span and get him into other things.

DJ is not allowed to drink soda.  Why?  Because he NEVER drinks water.  My dad doesn't understand the meaning of the words "once in a while".  DJ's best friend came over to spend the night on Saturday and I bought a bottle of orange soda for them.  That one bottle made my dad think it was now a free for all and bought a few bottles of Pepsi.  It just pisses me off.  Then when I say something it's like, "Well you gave him orange soda...."  It's like that with EVERYTHING.  I've just about had it.  But I'll get over it.  So that's where I"ve been at the past few days.  Just plain old going crazy. 

I know there have been times I've bitched about my job.  In all honesty, how could I ever leave my job?  My boss has to be one of the most flexible bosses ever.  I was going to write cool in place of flexible but if you knew my boss, you'd never put the two together.  Anyway my boss knows I'm a single parent and he knows I don't receive child support or really any other type of support. 

When DJ started kindergarten in the SCHOOL FROM HELL, I couldn't afford after school care.  BTW, nothing has changed since then, I STILL can't afford after school care.  My boss let me work from 9:30-2:00 and work the rest of the time from home.  After his diagnosis, he was transferred to the SCHOOL STRAIGHT OUTTA HEAVEN.  His bus picks him up around 7 and drops him off after 4.  This means I'm at work longer!  I now work 8:00 to 3:30 with a 1/2 hour lunch. 

But my boss is very cool with half days and days off.  For example, today is DJ's last day of school.  He has half day today and had one yesterday.  My dad cannot walk down to the end of the complex (about a block) to pick him up in the heat.  Yesterday I took a long lunch, drove 15 miles, picked up DJ from the corner and brought him back.  Then drove back 15 miles to work. 

Today, he split it with me.  I'm leaving to pick him up from school and working the rest of the day from home.  I can't get it any better than this.  He lets me do this kind of stuff all the time.  He also lets me bring DJ into work with me and they set up a computer for him complete with a dvd player.  He's in his glory. 

I was rearranging my room yesterday when I heard my dad shouting, "I don't fucking believe this."  I go running in the living room to see what was wrong.  I sat there stunned.  Completely and totally stunned.  Not guilty on ALL counts.  How many children does this freak have to molest before something is done? 

Those jurors are clueless.  TWELVE jurors acquit him.  I would have felt much better if it was at least a hung jury.  These must be the same people who voted for Bush. 

The person I used to call my mother will now be known as the woman who gave birth to me.  I'm done with her.  Finished.  Ended.  Terminated.  You get the picture.  My dad and the woman who gave birth to me had to sign the papers on the house they sold this Friday while I was in DC.  Instead of splitting the house down the middle (which is way MORE than what she deserves considering my father purchased the house and paid for it for 25 years) the woman who gave birth to me decided that she's going to add that to the divorce and try to take the whole sale of the house and keep it herself.

This is AFTER I called her up to tell her that I would really, really like if she would split the house down the middle so I would be able to put DJ in some kind of summer camp this summer.  My dad told me he was going to give me his half of the house for DJ.  I shared this with the woman who gave birth to me and explained that I was going to use the money to put him in a nice summer camp for a few hours a day so he's not spending his whole summer in front of the tv.

I also wanted to put him in a social skills group that met once a week.  The social skills group costs around $3,000.  Yep, this autism thing isn't cheap.

The woman who gave birth to me not only does not pitch in a DIME towards DJ's care, she just takes it away.  Screw her.  I'm so fucking fed up with her and all of her shit.  She is no longer a part of my life (which I've said before), but now, she is no longer allowed to see DJ either. 

It's bad enough that at points in time I need to fight with educators, doctors, etc. to ensure they do not screw my son over.  Now I need to make sure I watch his back from his so called grandmother.  She can seriously kiss my ass.

I just had to share the irony once I read Dawn's diary entry for today.  I paused while reading when she wrote about how "EVERYONE knows I've quit". 

The other day, while sunning ourselves at our pool, I was just about to light up.  PIC says to me, "I thought you were going to quit."  I proceeded to explain to her that I heard of this book that is supposed to help you quit for good and I was buying it when I came back from DC.  I told her how someone had used this book, quit, and blogged about it.  PIC, who hardly ever reads my blog, nor did I think reads anyone else's, says to me, "Did you read this on Dawn's blog?"

Have you ever known someone you thought you would never be attracted to in a million years? Met someone you were only interested in a friend, if that? This is the position I’m in now. You all know how I had a huge crush on FMM. Then there was the other maintenance man (now known as MM). I was completely NOT attracted to MM. He was friendly and used to talk to me all the time and usually whenever something needed to be fixed in my apartment, MM showed up to fix it.

Of course we got to be chummy and I saw him every day. And little by little he started to grow on me. It’s now to the point where I definitely like him and I find him attractive and I think he feels the same about me but I’m not sure.

I know it seems like I’m just going to start to work my way down the maintenance man list but it’s not like that. When I think back, I was attracted to FMM, but I didn’t know him. When I got to know him, he wasn’t so attractive. We are still friends, very good platonic friends. But I could never deal with him on a boyfriend level.

In MM’s case, I’m attracted to HIM. It’s ironic, it turns out he used to be a cashier at a drugstore I used to go in daily. Yes, I remember him and he remembers me. Philly is huge. I could honestly go a long time without seeing someone I know.

Here’s the scoop from today. My central air isn’t working. BLAH! I called the office and reported and maintenance showed up (not MM). He told me my unit is frozen over. I don’t know how that happened since I haven’t run it. I guess that was my problem! Tomorrow they will send the cooling guy over first thing to fix it. Until then, we sweat.

About 10 minutes after he left, MM showed up. He asked what was wrong with the air. So I told him what the other guy told me. My dad asked him to sit down and he was chilling with us awhile watching MASH. MM told me he was working on an apartment that night and if it got too warm to come on over. He told me this about 4 times before he left.

I had no intentions on going over there, because I’d feel stupid. But then I saw MM on my way to get water ice. Naturally, I asked him if he wanted one. Of course he did. I came back with it and we wound up sitting in the apartment talking for about TWO hours! This isn’t the first time, but it’s the first time off hours. We talk a lot during the day as I see him.

I really wonder where this is leading…