I've finally realized I'm not good at relationships.  To be more specific, I can't find anyone to be in a good relationship with me.  My longest relationship was probably 2.5 years.  I'm not really proud of that. 

My past two boyfriends averaged around 2.5 years.  One turned out to be a druggie and the other- well we just weren't good for each other.  Druggie right now is serving a prison sentence and The Ex and I haven't spoken in a few years.  I stopped dating Druggie in 1996 and broke up with The Ex in 2001.  At this time, I'm not really sure what I'm doing.  I've been seeing/dating/talking to/being “friends” with Mr. Big going on 3 years.  That's right, a guy who will never live with me, never marry me, never give me a full committment is my longest “relationship.”  What the hell is wrong with me?

Mr. Big and I haven't had The Talk since we started seeing each other again.  I really don't even feel like having The Talk.  Then it starts becoming complex.  Mr. Big called me Saturday and asked me to come out with him.  We went and hung out at the river for hours.  Then we went back to his place and watched a movie.  Our relationship is so screwy. 

It started out great.  We dated, we hung out.  I made him wait forever for some nooky.  I could always call him if I needed something.  I met and hung out with the majority of his friends.  Got along with all of them.  He was always there for me.  He was probably the nicest, sweetest boyfriend I ever had. 

Then something happened.  I'm not sure exactly which event screwed us up.  First he moved from his apartment into his fixer upper house.  Then I told him I loved him.  Then I moved from my apartment back into my mom's house.  There was now a 45 minute distance between us even though we still lived in the same city.  He was always hanging out with his friends.  I could never get a sitter.  He couldn't come spend the night at my mom's house.  It was never the same after that.

No matter how many times I break up with him, he always wants me back.  Even though deep down it's never going to work.  My age is wrong.  My skin color is wrong.  Not for him.  He doesn't mind this.  In public, he feels people stare.  I say screw it, let them stare.  These are things that can't be changed.  This is me.  This is you. 

I don't know what he is doing tonight.  I don't know what he is doing tomorrow.  The odds of him calling are nil.  I don't have issues with it.  This is the way it is.  This is what I have time for.  This is what he has time for.  Questions have been floating in my mind.  What are we doing?  Is this time really going to be any different than any of the others?  Why have I been in the longest relatonship with him and yet we don't talk on the phone every day.  We don't talk on the phone every other day.  We rarely speak on the phone except to make plans.  We don't email.  Nothing.  Nada.  Yet it's going on 3 years.  I just don't understand why we just can't let each other go.

What is wrong with people nowadays?  Recently, a co-worker of mine was suddenly fired.  Let's call him Grawp, shall we?  It seems Grawp was caught misbehavin' on company time.  To be more specific, he was caught pleasuring himself in his office, more than once!  Hello?  You'd think when someone caught him the first time, he'd think hmmmm, maybe I shouldn't do this. 

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against porn, I've watched porn before.  Nor do I have any problems with pleasuring oneself.  I've done that myself a time or two :)  But there is a time and place for everything.  Never have I watched porn and pleasured myself while on the job, in the office, with my door open, my pants down.  Let's use some common sense people.  If you really have to do this during work, please, shut and LOCK your door! 

It's a shame, he was cool cat.  But if you are stupid enough to do it out in the open and get caught MORE THAN ONCE, I don't feel sorry that you lost your job.  My advice to all you people out there reading this, lock your door!

Last night we had a few errands to run.  Mostly for DJ.  He wanted to go to Blockbuster and then we went to the produce store to buy tomatos.  Each time we went to the store, my adorable child opened the door for me everytime!  He's only 6 years old and he has such good manners.  I have no clue whatsoever where he learned that from.  We never ride with another man so he's never seen anyone open the door for me.  So, yay for my cutie pie!

In other news, I passed inspection!   Wooo hoooo!  I'm definitely celebrating that news.  I was really afraid I'd have to put loads of money into my old car so I was really surprised when all I needed were some wiper blades. 

I'm such a happy camper right now!

DJ has been saving up his money.  He receives money for doing things around the house.  It's not called an allowance yet because it's not certain chores he does weekly.  He's a really big help and he'll help me do the laundry, vacuum, clean up after my father, and move furniture.  Yes, this is true.  My son is only 6 years and he's ALMOST as tall as me.  True, I am a bit height challenged.  He evidently gets his height from his father's side.  I stand at 4'11 and DJ stands approx 4'3.  I keep telling everyone by 2nd grade the teachers will think I'm the student and he's the parent. 

Back on topic.  So far he has save $11 in the Nintendo Gamecube Game fund.  He's been on a roll for over a year to save $50, yet once it reaches $10 it burns a hole in his pocket and he has to go shopping and buy himself something NOW.  The most he's ever saved was $20 and then spent it.  He says to me Friday he wants to go shopping at the mall.  Here we go again!

He did actually hold onto the money until we went to the last store, a toy store.  There he decided he wanted to buy Jessie from Toy Story 2.  He was such a happy little boy, going up to the register himself, paying and then waiting for his change.  He had everyone in line laughing when he says to the cashier, “Don't forget to put my toy in a bag, please.” 

On the way home, we were playing number and letter games in the car.  I was asking him to name words that starts with the letter....  We get to “g”.  First he says Jake.  I explain that Jake starts with a “j”.  I try to explain him that sometimes “j” and “g” have the same beginning sound.  I then realized why I am not a teacher.  He wanted to know WHY this ways.  How the hell should I know?  I create databases.  So then he brought up the name Jessie and how that starts with a “j”.  He then informed me that Woody starts with a “y”.  I tried to explain that Woody begins with a “w”.  He kept telling me it couldn't be because “w” has a dddddd sound.  I was SO confused.  I told him there is a “d” sound in Woody but it begins with a “w”.  I think DJ was so frustrated with me.  He says to me, “ No, mommy, listen to me, double U, it's a ddddddd sound.”  He could have knocked me over.  Kids figure out the most interesting things.  Of course, I am the only one who sees the future genius in his statements :)

DJ loves Godzilla.  The Ex was a major Godzilla fan and brought DJ into the fold a few years ago.  DJ's favorite is Godzilla vs. Mothra, but he's watched the tape so much he's worn it out.  Last week he watched Terror of Mechagodzilla I think for the first time.  He doesn't really like it as much as the other one though.  In the beginning of the tape, they show pictures (I'm assuming pictures of movie covers, but the movie title is not listed.)  This one picture showed Godzilla and what looked like a blue monster with blue rings of smoke coming out of it's mouth.  DJ was going nuts, he had to have this movie. 

I went online and looked up all of Godzilla's movies on Amazon to see if I could find the title of this movie.  Success!  Went on Ebay and placed a winning bid for Godzilla's Revenge.  Every day he asked “Did it come yet?”  Finally it came in the mail yesterday while he was at my aunt's house.  I always have packages delivered to work.  I called him on the phone to tell him and before I even had a chance, he started talking.  “What time are you coming home?”  I explained that I was working late and probably wouldn't pick him up until 6.  He wanted me to come home “right now”.  Then I told him his movie came in the mail.  He was so excited.

I actually arrived at my aunt's house a little after 5.  DJ was overjoyed to see me.  He kept telling me how I was the best mommy in the world and he was so excited to go home and see his new movie.  He kept hugging and kissing me constantly.  It was hysterical.  He reminded me of scenes in the Addams Family when Morticia would speak french and her husband would start kissing her hand.  That's all DJ kept doing. 

As soon as we came home he raced to his room to watch it.  He came out in the middle and told me it was the best tape ever.  He also told me that Godzilla is a daddy in this movie and he has a son.  Some more major hugs and kisses were in order.  He watched it 3x last night and we have a date later on to watch it together. 

DJ is scared of The Mask with Jim Carrey.  He hasn't watched the movie in a few years but is deathly afraid of it.  Saturday night he had a nightmare that I turned into the mask.  He came in my room Sunday morning screaming and crying.  There was no way he was going back to sleep.  For the past two nights he's been in my bed.  Last night we get ready for bed at 10.  He talked my ear off until about 12.  At one point he says to me “Mommy, ask me if I want a drink of water?”  I told him I am not getting it for him.  Then he said, “Ok Mommy.  Do you want a glass of water?  Say yes, Mommy.”  I decide to play along and say yes because he's not going to be happy unless I say what he wants me to say anyway.  He replies with, “Good, now go in and get us some water since you're thirsty too.”  He's such a player.

Gotta love kids!

Today was such a fun day.  Yes, I do mean that sarcastically :)  Did you ever plan your day in advance and have it turn into a fiasco?  That was my day.  It was bad.  It just wasn't what I envisioned. 

I was planning on waking up super early and driving down to Delaware to buy cigarettes for everyone I know and some liquor.  Mr. Big wanted me to pick him up some Hennessy and I told Jee (the guy having the party) that I would stop off and pick him up some beer.  I was going to do some food shopping.  Swim a little with DJ, get ready and leave.

Not how it happened, of course.  I woke up late.  I didn't leave until after 11 and DJ wanted to ride with me.  When we arrived in DE, he wanted gum.  Then he wanted something to drink.  Then I couldn't find the liquor store I always go to.  I finally found it minutes later after I drove up and down Rte 13.  If you know Rte 13, you know it's not fun.  Have to keep switching lanes.  It's crazy especially when you're not sure where you're going.  I've only been making this run for the past 2-3 years.  You'd think I'd know where I was going.

After all this, I'm late to the shindig tonight.  Well technically, not late.  Since I was the only one who showed up.  I brought PIC along with me along with loads of liquor.  It was just me, PIC, and Jee.  It wasn't too bad though.  I mean, it was supposed to be a party.  Instead we just hung out for a bit, drank a little, ate a little.  Then we left.  Interested to see where this is headed.

Ok, I know the title of my blog is DAILY Doses and I haven't written anything in over a month.  The only answer is life got away.  I will do better in the future.  I think I'll just post some mini-updates to get it going again.  A little of what I was doing the past month.

Work.

I'll admit it, that's not all I've been doing.  That's been most of it.  In mid-June was our annual conference.  We worked and partied it up in NYC for a week.  Let me tell you it was alot of hard work and alot of long hours.  Of course, after all that I went out and checked out the night life with a bunch of co-workers.  We had a blast!  I even saw 2 semi celebrities and got my picture taken with one of them.  Hulk Hogan was staying at out hotel and I saw him almost every day.  Then when we were walking the streets of NY (lol), my girl saw Josh Gracin from American Idol 2.  I thought he was the greatest so I actually did go up to him and took a picture with him.  He's a cutie in person and very very nice.  And that was my brush with fame :)

Then I came home.  Not to worry, NYC gave me something to remember it by.  Smog and pollution.  Yes, I came home with bronchitis and laryngitis.  Once I got off the train in the City of Brotherly Love I had absolutely NO voice.  Thank goodness one of my co-workers was with me and he called my mom and told her we got in.  That's just what I needed was for to think I was crank calling her.  We live in different directions and I took a separate (sp?) cab home.  I had to write directions to my house since I couldn't speak.  I wish I had my voice at that time because it was the cab ride from hell!  He was milking that fare for all it was work and I couldn't say a thing.  He was just sitting in traffic when other lanes were whizzing by.  A 15 minute ride took about 45 minutes.  I was not a happy camper.

In other news, I have a new car.  A brand new car.  It's about time!  My other car is dying a slow painful death.  I took my old car in to get inspected.  Doesn't look good.  Something about my pressure not evaporating because there's evidently a leak somewhere.  To make matters worse, my mechanic can't fix it.  I need to take it to the dealer if the check engine light comes on again.  Boo hoo.  From what all the men I know are saying (cuz I only know how to pump gas in a car and run it through a car wash) I'm looking at 400-700 just in diagnostic testing.  But I'm tooling around in my brand new Neon which I love.  I'm trying to save up so next year I can buy a Durango.  I just have a thing for Dodge :)

In other news, I have a new piercing.  It's not like I get these on a regular basis.  I went three weeks ago to get my tongue pierced.  I've been wanting it done for YEARS and I finally did it.  Ladies, remember when we went to get our ears pierced and it hurt SO bad!  It doesn't hurt anymore!  I had my belly button done (that was because PIC was getting hers done) in December.  I'm such a good friend/aka partner in crime.  The belly button hurt a bit afterwards but the aftercare is ridiculous.  It's like a part time job!  But the tongue didn't hurt at all.  Not getting it done, not afterwards.  The aftercare isn't too bad.  Mouthwash, salt water, etc etc.  My tongue just got really swollen.  Once I figure out how to post pics on this thing....

Tomorrow night I'm heading out to a party.  Can you believe it?  I actually have two parties lined up this summer!  Go me!  This guy I work with is housesitting for two weeks and he's hosting a little something tomorrow night.  PIC and I are heading out there.  Then in August another friend from work is having a party down the shore.  I'm so there!

If you've read this far, damn you're good!  There went the “mini”.  Special holler to my girl, Jen who I missed like crazy at this year's conference.  She had to go move her butt up further north.  It's not the same without you girl!

I went to see this documentary this weekend.  GO SEE IT! 

If I had any doubts over who I was going to vote for this election, this movie confirmed my choice</font>