The following conversation happened right before bedtime...

DJ:  I don’t want to go to school.  Teach is mean.

ME:  Why is Teach mean?

DJ:  Teach does mean things.

ME:  What does Teach do?

DJ:  Teach stuck her tongue out at me.

ME:  Why did Teach stick her tongue out at you?

DJ:  Because I stuck my tongue out at her

I always get him, everytime!  I do rapid questioning.  I’d make a great attorney!

I know I talk alot about my kid.  I really try hard not to but I can't help it.  Sometimes he's the highlight of my day.  The things he says just have me laughing...constantly.  Who needs a comedy show?  In all I really do want to remember alot of the funny stuff he says.  Trust me, he says alot more than I post.  This is just the stuff I remember.

I did forget to mention the other day I was driving into my complex and I picked up a box that was left for me at the office.  I saw one of the maintenance guys.  I've been here a year so I know all of them because they are here everyday and I think they all live here too.  So this one maintenance guy is talking to me as I'm coming out of the office.  I see him everyday when I pick up DJ from the bus stop. 

He asked me if I had a pen.  I dug out a pen to give him.  He told me to write this down.  He proceeds to give me a phone number and tells me to write after 5.  Of course, it was his.  Unfortunately I don't find him attractive but I did think it was kind of cute the way he gave me the number.  I saw him today and he told me his phone hasn't rang yet.  I told him I was really busy between work and college.  It sounded really lame but I didn't want to hurt his feelings.  Now if it was the OTHER maintenance guy....

This just in:

When DJ came home from school, he does homework right away.  I pulled out his communication book to read what his teacher wrote for the day.  The communication book is the book for his teacher and I to write about his day/night daily.  This is what today's communication said:

“DJ told me 'My mom said you should apologize to me.'  After I had a talk with him about telling the truth he said, 'Maybe the apologize wasn't such a good idea.'”

Yes he did really say that.  He does really talk like that:)

This was written earlier in the day but I never posted .....

BTSN wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.  Thought I am going to kill my child:)  Evidently he invited all his classmates over to our house for a sleepover.  What the...  Their moms shared it all with me.  And I find out another little boy invited all the kids to a rave party at his house.  The things kids say!

When I picked up DJ up from the bus, he told me he hated school and he didn't want to go back and he didn't like his teacher anymore.  I asked why.  He told me because she was mean to him.  I said how was she mean to you.  He told me she's just mean and I don't like her and I don't want her to be my teacher anymore!  And that's final! 

I hate this.  I hate sitting in an auditorium for an hour listening to the principal drone on and on about how wonderful the school is.  I send my kid there, of course I know these things!  His teacher is so wonderful, I doubt you will need to tell me something I don't already know. 

Alls I want to do is meet with the teacher.  That's it.  No more, no less.  It'll be nice to talk to the other mothers as well.  I might have forgotten to mention this, but this girl I used to hang with in high school is going to be there.  It turns out her son was diagnosed with an ASD (Autsim Spectrum Disorder) and he is in DJ's classroom.  I just messaged her.  I really hope she is going so I have someone to talk to while I'm there. 

Hiya!  I stole this from Dawn:)

You know the deal, copy/paste bold the things that true for YOU!

01.  Bought everyone in the pub a drink

02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula (no fucking way)
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease (comically)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars

22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records

70. Pretended to be a superhero (Wonder Woman!)
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let’s Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Been to a drive-in theatre(so sad about this)
80. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it

81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business (Does my lemonade stand count?)
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman (ha!)
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn’t have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house (next year!)
117. Been in a combat zone

118. Buried one/both of your parents (they would NOT appreciate it if I did that)
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off

120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently (I used to speak Italian fluently)
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children (Do they EVER grow up???)
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy (I love having kids!)
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. More than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback (Huh?)
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone’s heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being (so far, so good on this one)
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph (hoping no law enforcement read this)
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol(Ughhh)
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground (does this happen a lot?)
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper

172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach (ewwwww)
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language (My sonJ)
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream (If this is my dream, WAKE ME UP!)
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested

I know this is very very long, but important as well. 

Boy With Aspergers Charged with Assault:  Please Write Letters

Many advocates from the California Autism Coalition and other advocates across the state are writing letters to the individuals below on behalf of Colin Frates, a boy with Asperger’s who is charged with assault and is being threatened to be removed from his family.  The case was heard in court yesterday and has a continuance until October 6.  I think this is an opportunity to educate the District Attorney and the public about Autism Spectrum Disorders.  If Colin Frates can be taken away from his family, this will start a dangerous precedent and many of our children are at risk of being removed from their family.

Erin Kennedy, Reporter Fresno Bee ekennedy@fresnowbee.com

Terry Bradley, Superintendent Clovis Unified School District terrybradley@cusd.com

Stefani Baldaur, Deputy DA DAmail@co.fresno.ca.us

Letters to the Editor Fresno Bee letters@fresnobee.com

http://www.fresnobee.com/local/story/9156982p-10056453c.html

Autistic teenager accused of assault

Clovis boy faces charge that he attacked teacher.

By Erin Kennedy
The Fresno Bee

(Updated Friday, September 17, 2004, 1:04 PM)

A criminal case against a Clovis High School teen with Asperger's disorder is raising alarm among autism experts in California who say that such prosecution sets a dangerous precedent.

The Fresno County District Attorney's Office charged Colin Frates, 15, with assault for shoving his special-education teacher at Reyburn Intermediate School last year and for throwing two chairs against a wall.

Clovis Unified School District suspended Colin for two days after the March 8 incident but did not call police. Teacher Alstema Jackson contacted police on her own without district knowledge, a school district spokeswoman said. Two court-ordered medical evaluations of Colin found that he is not capable of understanding court proceedings and cannot help with his defense. Colin's attorney, David Mugridge, urged charges be dropped.

But those evaluations were not enough to sway prosecutors or a judge Wednesday.

Another hearing has been set for Monday to discuss Colin's competency and possibly the appointment of a court conservator to oversee his care.

Autism experts say Colin's behavior is not unusual for an autistic child in distress and that the criminal justice system is not the place to deal with this matter.

In a letter to the Fresno County District Attorney's Office, psychologist Floyd O'Brien explained that people with Asperger's don't understand social interactions or appropriate behavior. Proceeding with prosecution against Colin, O'Brien wrote, was like making it a crime for an epileptic to have a seizure. O'Brien was one of several mental health professionals who e-mailed or wrote letters to the district attorney criticizing the prosecution.

People with Asperger's, a form of the brain disorder autism, usually have normal or higher-than-normal intelligence but difficulty in deciphering facial expressions or body language. They have poor social skills, do not understand personal space, do not like change, have rigid mannerisms and speak mechanically.

There is debate about what causes autism, and there is no cure. Colin's mother, Kathy Frates, is frantic that her son will be taken away: "They talked about institutionalizing him to rehabilitate him to bring him back to trial or appointing a conservator." Colin is bewildered by all the attention. He insists he was just tapping his teacher's shoulder, trying to get her attention so she would let him call home.

Colin seemed unaffected by the turmoil Thursday. He talked about the intricacies of the video game "Starcraft," bragging about knowing secret pass codes. The slight teen appeared like a version of Harry Potter at barely 5 feet tall and 100 pounds, with tiny glasses, a mop of straight brown hair and eyes wide in a perpetual look of astonishment.

Assistant District Attorney Alvin Harrell said the law prohibits prosecutors from talking about the specifics of a juvenile case. But, he said, generally before filing charges, the District Attorney's Office tries to determine whether someone has the mental capacity to understand he or she has committed a crime. That's not always possible.

Once a case goes to court, Harrell said, defense attorneys might alert a judge that their client is unable to assist in a defense. And then, evaluations by medical professionals would determine that.

Harrell could not say whether this case is typical or how often a special-education student who misbehaves at school ends up in the criminal courts.

Neuropsychologist Paul Lebby, who evaluated Colin for the Fresno court, found that Colin is mildly mentally retarded when it comes to his understanding of speech.

Sacramento psychologist Joe Morrow, who also examined Colin for the court, went further: "I believe that no psychologist or psychiatrist that I am familiar with would think that the criminal justice system is the appropriate venue for dealing with the behavior problems attendant to the neurological disorder labeled Asperger's syndrome."

An incident report Jackson wrote for the school district and the police report describe what happened March 8:

Colin was sent to Jackson's room because he was agitated in his first-period class, which had a substitute teacher.

Jackson put him in a room by himself adjoining her classroom full of students. She told him repeatedly he had to wait until the end of the period to call home and to finish his work before returning to class.

Colin became more agitated, began yelling and tried to grab a telephone. Jackson disconnected the phone, asked a student to get another school employee and positioned her chair in front of the door.

Colin tried several times to push Jackson out of the chair. When that didn't work, he threw two chairs at the wall next to her.

Another school employee defused the situation, took Colin to the office and called his parents.

Frates said that Colin's education plan, a document that outlines his learning goals and how to deal with his behavior, is filed at the school. It said Colin would be sent to Jackson or could call home when he was agitated.

California Education Code requires schools to have individualized plans for how to properly deal with disruptive special-education students. Teachers who work with special-education students must have special training in difficult behaviors and different disabilities.

Jackson, a 14-year special education teacher in Clovis Unified, could not be reached to comment.

Her husband, Jerome Jackson, contacted at their home Thursday, said his wife was still unnerved by the incident: "In 26 years of teaching, never had anything like this happened to her. She was very shaken by it. She's still shaken by it. She was upset too that the people who work with her on a daily basis acted like nothing happened."

Jerome Jackson said his wife did not expect anything to come of her police report because it had been months since anyone talked to her about the incident.

Kathy and Mike Frates said they're also shaken. "He's really a very loving child," Kathy Frates said. "She trapped him that day."

Mike Frates, who quit his job to help with Colin's learning difficulties, said: "The irony is we didn't want him at school. We pleaded with the district to have a home-school program or an Asperger's program elsewhere."

Carl Binder, a Santa Rosa psychologist who works with autistic people, wrote to the district attorney: "To consider the behavior of this boy to be a willful assault with full awareness of the consequences and so on would be stretching far beyond what most clinicians would find credible."

The reporter can be reached at ekennedy@fresnobee.com or (559) 441-6197.

As of yesterday, I'm single again.  To put it simply, Mr. Big thought he could have his cake and eat it too.  I don't think so!  I went to go get a box and he was chatting with this girl in the next office.  He was saying how he had gone out Saturday night to a dinner function or something, who really cares?  He goes on to say how his girlfriend won the door prize.  I just stopped.  Girlfriend?  I was in the house Saturday night.

Fast forward an hour or so later.  I'm sitting at my desk at work.  I decided to send him an email.  Short and sweet.  “Girlfriend, huh?  Guess I walked in at the wrong time.”  Then he decides to piss me off by stating “I guess I did refer to her as my girlfriend, which maybe a bit presumptious, as I have only known her for the past 3 weeks.”  Silly ME!  Only 3 weeks.  That's a horse of a different color!  I guess he was waiting to see if it “worked out.”  I wondered how long it would be before I (ya know, the other girlfriend) was going to find out.  Maybe a month, 6 months, a year.  I basically emailed all this back to him along with how I'm not hurt, just sad that this reinforces my opinions of men.  Then I queried if I needed to take a test or not.

Do you know HE had the balls to get offended?  He decided to remind me how back in December I asked for my keys back for what he says amounting to him “escorting” his ex-girlfriend to one of her work functions.  (I remember the conversation differently.)  How he didn't try to press me on my decision because of my principles that I can't be with/have sex with/go out with someone if he were seeing someone else.  (He did use seeing lightly in this email.)

Then he mentioned how we've only seen each other 3 or 4 times since then (WHAT?  We spent the week in NY together which was 5 days alone and that was back in June.  How dumb does he think I am?)  Ironically, he then said that neither one of us have established any new ground rules since then.  Then he mentioned he's been seeing chicky for 3 weeks and he hasn't done anything with her but I can feel free to go take a test “After all I am a man“.

Hmmmm, let's see.  Over six months ago, I broke up with Mr. Big because he hung out with his ex on several occasions.  Let me clear up that I am NOT the jealous type.  But this was withheld information.  Why the secrecy?  It came out as an oopsie.  If my principles were I am not going to be with someone who is seeing someone else, would they really change in that short of amount of time? 

Why would we define someting that's been defined countless times before?  We've been together on and off for 3 years.  Neither one of likes having “the talk”, especially him.  Why go over “rules”?  Really, it's all about respect.  How are you going to be with me and hang out with someone else? 

In my final email to Mr. Big, I left with one parting shot....My bad.  I assumed you were different.  But you know what they say when you assume....

Men make me SICK.  All in all though, I am in a really good mood:)  He was like an old comfy slipper.  It's time to throw the damned things out.  Try on some new ones.  See if I can get a good fit.  I do think for right now I'm just going to chill.  Be single for awhile.

I'm not sure what happened to my son.  Today DJ came home from school with 10 new spelling words he had to memorize by Friday for his spelling test.  He already knows how to spell all 10. 

Then he was given homework consisting of 2 worksheets and 1 math page.  He wasn't happy with that arrangement.  He insisted on doing two worksheets and TWO math pages.

Has anyone seen my child?

My father told me I need to gamble.  How crazy is that?  I'm in this football pool at work.  Every week I submit my winners, by point spreads.  I am really good at this.  I don't know why I am.  I don't really watch football.  I watch the Eagles.  I watch the Super Bowl.  Yet out of 25 guys, I'm winning each week.  I don't know what my secret is.  It takes me about 5-10 minutes to fill them out.  I know nothing about other teams' quarterbacks, wide receivers, running backs, yards, etc,etc.  I do know I want a TO jersey :)  And I'm kicking ass in college football as well.  I know absolutely nothing about college football.  I wonder how long this will last.  My father is amazed at this.  I'm the same chick who didn't even understand how the game was played for about 20 years. 

Tomorrow I need to pack my cubicle.  I'm so sad and happy at the same time.  The IT department is moving to another location across the street.  I'm not really feeling the new office.  I will like that I don't have to talk to 40+ people per day.  People can stop asking me stupid questions.  That's the perk.  There's this new girl they hired.  She's supposed to be an analyst.  Knows absolutely nothing about Excel (which is what she works in.)  She didn't know how to center format a cell.  How sad is this?  Who assessed her IT skills?  She's a very nice person, but she is driving me nuts.  Trainer is not in my title.  Unfortunately I am the resident Excel expert.  Why me?

Tuesday is D-Day.  I'm taking DJ to the developmental pediatrician for his formal diagnosis of AS.  Actually that is just the beginning.  The first visit is play time.  How fun is this?  BTW, I did get him to sit down for like 15-20 minutes and play with some puzzles today.  How cool is that?