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Saturday, October 02, 2004
Cure Autism Now! This very morning, I am walking to benefit Autism. As most of you know my son was diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder at the beginning of this year. To date, I have raised close to $1000. (I have some checks that haven't been credited yet.) If you feel like donating to this worthy cause, I'd really appreciate it. It is a tax credit:) Wish me luck, I'm bringing DJ with me:) Friday, October 01, 2004
The First Time I think this is the first time in my life I'm closely watching a presidential race. This is the first time I will vote on who I think should be leading our country. This is the first time I feel strongly on issues. This is the first time an election might possibly effect my life. I have always stood by our president. Always, 100%. When Bill Clinton was in office and the whole Monica affair came about. I thought to myself, so what, what he does in private is his business. I know it's morally reprehensible. I also felt IMHO that he did a damned good job of running the country. Fast forward to the 2000 election. I would have voted for Al Gore. I liked Al Gore. Unfortunately I STILL did not receive my voter's registration card in the mail. I have honestly been trying to vote since I was 18. It is my right as a citizen. I believe everyone should vote. I am a single parent. I receive no child support from my son's father nor have I ever. Nor will I ever seek support. I do not receive ANY government services. I cannot get food stamps, I cannot get welfare, I cannot get subsidized housing, I cannot get WIC. Everything I pay for depends on my salary and my salary alone. Do I think I should get these services? No. I know you are wondering then why I am bitching. In 4 years my taxes have gone up a little over 10%. I bring home less now then I did 4 years ago, even though I have received raises and make more money. The Child Tax Credit is a joke. I get a few hundred at tax time but the government takes a couple thousand from me during the year. I am not eligible for the Earned Income Credit anymore (since Bush took office.) My rent alone is almost 50% of my take home pay. My average electric bill is $200/month. Unfortunately noone looks at my net pay, they look at my gross. I suppose I'm considered middle class/upper middle class. I was recently told that daycare for my son for the summer in my neighborhood would cost me $200/week. That is $800/month. That's approximately what I pay for rent! I could get subsidized day care if I made $18000 a year. If I made $18000 a year, how could I afford to live? I can barely afford it now! The number one question in this presidential electon (in my opinion only) is where the hell is Bin Laden? He is the one who massacred our brothers and sisters. What happened to him? Where is he? Why hasn't HE been brought to justice? We turned to focus to Iraq. Don't get me wrong, I do agree Hussein should have been removed from power. I don't believe war was the best way to go. Our brothers and sisters are dying over there every day. Why? Noone, not even the President, can tell me why! I support our troops one hundred percent, but they should not be there. Why weren't our troops in Afghanistan hunting down Bin Laden? They were able to hunt and find Hussein. More effort was put into Iraq than the man responsible for all of those lives lost. My President cannot tell me why. Days after 9/11 I thirsted for blood. I wanted Bin Laden and the Taliban wiped out, destroyed. Instead I kept turning on the news hearing how we're not going to sit by and watch this happen. Yet, noone seems to realize...it did. I don't like smoke covers. Since the day we went after Saddam Hussein instead of Osama Bin Laden, my vote has been for the democratic candidate. My vote has not wavered since. Luckily, I agree with many of Senator Kerry's policies and ideas and hope they can get implemented. I thought the debate was great. I did feel Kerry came out on top, thought that could be I am biased. I thought George Bush had too many pauses, too many pat responses “It's hard work”, repeated many of the same things over and over and over again and blew alot of smoke instead of directly answering the questions I NEEDED answered. Thursday, September 30, 2004
September Archives
My Kid Never Shuts His Mouth! Posted 09/30/2004 at 11:05 pm The Things Kids Say Posted 09/30/2004 at 05:41 pm Wild Parties Posted 09/30/2004 at 05:34 pm Back To School Night Posted 09/29/2004 at 05:36 pm Blah, Blah, Blah Posted 09/29/2004 at 02:35 pm You Make Me Sick Posted 09/28/2004 at 08:31 am My Son Is Missing Posted 09/27/2004 at 05:31 pm Football Pool Posted 09/26/2004 at 11:10 pm I'm Baaaaa-aaaaack Posted 09/26/2004 at 12:15 am I'm Such A Klutz Posted 09/21/2004 at 12:14 pm ....Continued Posted 09/19/2004 at 01:35 am Wireless Baby, Oh Yea Posted 09/18/2004 at 08:23 pm Unplanned Hiatus Posted 09/16/2004 at 08:29 am You Have Got To Be Kidding Me! Posted 09/10/2004 at 09:12 pm Mini Updates Posted 09/09/2004 at 09:55 pm My Kid Never Shuts His Mouth! The following conversation happened right before bedtime... DJ: I don’t want to go to school. Teach is mean. ME: Why is Teach mean? DJ: Teach does mean things. ME: What does Teach do? DJ: Teach stuck her tongue out at me. ME: Why did Teach stick her tongue out at you? DJ: Because I stuck my tongue out at her I always get him, everytime! I do rapid questioning. I’d make a great attorney! I know I talk alot about my kid. I really try hard not to but I can't help it. Sometimes he's the highlight of my day. The things he says just have me laughing...constantly. Who needs a comedy show? In all I really do want to remember alot of the funny stuff he says. Trust me, he says alot more than I post. This is just the stuff I remember. I did forget to mention the other day I was driving into my complex and I picked up a box that was left for me at the office. I saw one of the maintenance guys. I've been here a year so I know all of them because they are here everyday and I think they all live here too. So this one maintenance guy is talking to me as I'm coming out of the office. I see him everyday when I pick up DJ from the bus stop. He asked me if I had a pen. I dug out a pen to give him. He told me to write this down. He proceeds to give me a phone number and tells me to write after 5. Of course, it was his. Unfortunately I don't find him attractive but I did think it was kind of cute the way he gave me the number. I saw him today and he told me his phone hasn't rang yet. I told him I was really busy between work and college. It sounded really lame but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Now if it was the OTHER maintenance guy.... The Things Kids Say This just in: When DJ came home from school, he does homework right away. I pulled out his communication book to read what his teacher wrote for the day. The communication book is the book for his teacher and I to write about his day/night daily. This is what today's communication said: “DJ told me 'My mom said you should apologize to me.' After I had a talk with him about telling the truth he said, 'Maybe the apologize wasn't such a good idea.'” Yes he did really say that. He does really talk like that:) Wild Parties This was written earlier in the day but I never posted ..... BTSN wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Thought I am going to kill my child:) Evidently he invited all his classmates over to our house for a sleepover. What the... Their moms shared it all with me. And I find out another little boy invited all the kids to a rave party at his house. The things kids say! When I picked up DJ up from the bus, he told me he hated school and he didn't want to go back and he didn't like his teacher anymore. I asked why. He told me because she was mean to him. I said how was she mean to you. He told me she's just mean and I don't like her and I don't want her to be my teacher anymore! And that's final! Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Back To School Night I hate this. I hate sitting in an auditorium for an hour listening to the principal drone on and on about how wonderful the school is. I send my kid there, of course I know these things! His teacher is so wonderful, I doubt you will need to tell me something I don't already know. Alls I want to do is meet with the teacher. That's it. No more, no less. It'll be nice to talk to the other mothers as well. I might have forgotten to mention this, but this girl I used to hang with in high school is going to be there. It turns out her son was diagnosed with an ASD (Autsim Spectrum Disorder) and he is in DJ's classroom. I just messaged her. I really hope she is going so I have someone to talk to while I'm there. Blah, Blah, Blah Hiya! I stole this from Dawn:) You know the deal, copy/paste bold the things that true for YOU! 01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink 02. Swam with wild dolphins 22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon 35. Held a lamb 45. Adopted an accent for an entire day 70. Pretended to be a superhero (Wonder Woman!) 81. Visited the 118. Buried one/both of your parents (they would NOT appreciate it if I did that) 120. Been on a cruise ship 172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Boy With Aspergers Charged With Assault I know this is very very long, but important as well.
Boy With Aspergers Charged with Assault: Please Write Letters Many advocates from the California Autism Coalition and other advocates across the state are writing letters to the individuals below on behalf of Colin Frates, a boy with Asperger’s who is charged with assault and is being threatened to be removed from his family. The case was heard in court yesterday and has a continuance until October 6. I think this is an opportunity to educate the District Attorney and the public about Autism Spectrum Disorders. If Colin Frates can be taken away from his family, this will start a dangerous precedent and many of our children are at risk of being removed from their family. Erin Kennedy, Reporter Fresno Bee ekennedy@fresnowbee.com Terry Bradley, Stefani Baldaur, Deputy DA DAmail@co.fresno.ca.us Letters to the Editor Fresno Bee letters@fresnobee.com http://www.fresnobee.com/local/story/9156982p-10056453c.html Autistic teenager accused of assault A criminal case against a The Fresno County District Attorney's Office charged Colin Frates, 15, with assault for shoving his special-education teacher at But those evaluations were not enough to sway prosecutors or a judge Wednesday. Another hearing has been set for Monday to discuss Colin's competency and possibly the appointment of a court conservator to oversee his care. Autism experts say Colin's behavior is not unusual for an autistic child in distress and that the criminal justice system is not the place to deal with this matter. In a letter to the Fresno County District Attorney's Office, psychologist Floyd O'Brien explained that people with Asperger's don't understand social interactions or appropriate behavior. Proceeding with prosecution against Colin, O'Brien wrote, was like making it a crime for an epileptic to have a seizure. O'Brien was one of several mental health professionals who e-mailed or wrote letters to the district attorney criticizing the prosecution. People with Asperger's, a form of the brain disorder autism, usually have normal or higher-than-normal intelligence but difficulty in deciphering facial expressions or body language. They have poor social skills, do not understand personal space, do not like change, have rigid mannerisms and speak mechanically. There is debate about what causes autism, and there is no cure. Colin's mother, Kathy Frates, is frantic that her son will be taken away: "They talked about institutionalizing him to rehabilitate him to bring him back to trial or appointing a conservator." Colin is bewildered by all the attention. He insists he was just tapping his teacher's shoulder, trying to get her attention so she would let him call home. Colin seemed unaffected by the turmoil Thursday. He talked about the intricacies of the video game "Starcraft," bragging about knowing secret pass codes. The slight teen appeared like a version of Harry Potter at barely 5 feet tall and 100 pounds, with tiny glasses, a mop of straight brown hair and eyes wide in a perpetual look of astonishment. Assistant District Attorney Alvin Harrell said the law prohibits prosecutors from talking about the specifics of a juvenile case. But, he said, generally before filing charges, the District Attorney's Office tries to determine whether someone has the mental capacity to understand he or she has committed a crime. That's not always possible. Once a case goes to court, Harrell said, defense attorneys might alert a judge that their client is unable to assist in a defense. And then, evaluations by medical professionals would determine that. Harrell could not say whether this case is typical or how often a special-education student who misbehaves at school ends up in the criminal courts. Neuropsychologist Paul Lebby, who evaluated Colin for the An incident report Colin was sent to Colin became more agitated, began yelling and tried to grab a telephone. Colin tried several times to push Another school employee defused the situation, took Colin to the office and called his parents. Frates said that Colin's education plan, a document that outlines his learning goals and how to deal with his behavior, is filed at the school. It said Colin would be sent to California Education Code requires schools to have individualized plans for how to properly deal with disruptive special-education students. Teachers who work with special-education students must have special training in difficult behaviors and different disabilities. Jackson, a 14-year special education teacher in Clovis Unified, could not be reached to comment. Her husband, Jerome Jackson, contacted at their home Thursday, said his wife was still unnerved by the incident: "In 26 years of teaching, never had anything like this happened to her. She was very shaken by it. She's still shaken by it. She was upset too that the people who work with her on a daily basis acted like nothing happened." Jerome Jackson said his wife did not expect anything to come of her police report because it had been months since anyone talked to her about the incident. Kathy and Mike Frates said they're also shaken. "He's really a very loving child," Kathy Frates said. "She trapped him that day." Mike Frates, who quit his job to help with Colin's learning difficulties, said: "The irony is we didn't want him at school. We pleaded with the district to have a home-school program or an Asperger's program elsewhere." Carl Binder, a The reporter can be reached at ekennedy@fresnobee.com or (559) 441-6197. You Make Me Sick As of yesterday, I'm single again. To put it simply, Mr. Big thought he could have his cake and eat it too. I don't think so! I went to go get a box and he was chatting with this girl in the next office. He was saying how he had gone out Saturday night to a dinner function or something, who really cares? He goes on to say how his girlfriend won the door prize. I just stopped. Girlfriend? I was in the house Saturday night. Fast forward an hour or so later. I'm sitting at my desk at work. I decided to send him an email. Short and sweet. “Girlfriend, huh? Guess I walked in at the wrong time.” Then he decides to piss me off by stating “I guess I did refer to her as my girlfriend, which maybe a bit presumptious, as I have only known her for the past 3 weeks.” Silly ME! Only 3 weeks. That's a horse of a different color! I guess he was waiting to see if it “worked out.” I wondered how long it would be before I (ya know, the other girlfriend) was going to find out. Maybe a month, 6 months, a year. I basically emailed all this back to him along with how I'm not hurt, just sad that this reinforces my opinions of men. Then I queried if I needed to take a test or not. Do you know HE had the balls to get offended? He decided to remind me how back in December I asked for my keys back for what he says amounting to him “escorting” his ex-girlfriend to one of her work functions. (I remember the conversation differently.) How he didn't try to press me on my decision because of my principles that I can't be with/have sex with/go out with someone if he were seeing someone else. (He did use seeing lightly in this email.) Then he mentioned how we've only seen each other 3 or 4 times since then (WHAT? We spent the week in NY together which was 5 days alone and that was back in June. How dumb does he think I am?) Ironically, he then said that neither one of us have established any new ground rules since then. Then he mentioned he's been seeing chicky for 3 weeks and he hasn't done anything with her but I can feel free to go take a test “After all I am a man“. Hmmmm, let's see. Over six months ago, I broke up with Mr. Big because he hung out with his ex on several occasions. Let me clear up that I am NOT the jealous type. But this was withheld information. Why the secrecy? It came out as an oopsie. If my principles were I am not going to be with someone who is seeing someone else, would they really change in that short of amount of time? Why would we define someting that's been defined countless times before? We've been together on and off for 3 years. Neither one of likes having “the talk”, especially him. Why go over “rules”? Really, it's all about respect. How are you going to be with me and hang out with someone else? In my final email to Mr. Big, I left with one parting shot....My bad. I assumed you were different. But you know what they say when you assume.... Men make me SICK. All in all though, I am in a really good mood:) He was like an old comfy slipper. It's time to throw the damned things out. Try on some new ones. See if I can get a good fit. I do think for right now I'm just going to chill. Be single for awhile.
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