The following was sent to me by a very dear friend written by Maureen K. Higgins. I want to pass it on to you.

Many of you I have never even met face to face, but I've searched you out every day. I've looked for you on the Internet, on playgrounds and in grocery stores. I've become an expert at identifying you. You are well worn. You are stronger than you ever wanted to be. Your words ring experience, experience you culled with your very heart and soul. You are compassionate beyond the expectations of this world. You are my "sisters".

Yes, you and I, my friend, are sisters in a sorority. A very elite sorority. We are special. Just like any other sorority, we were chosen to be members. Some of us were invited to join immediately, some not for months or even years. Some of us even tried to refuse membership, but to no avail.

We were initiated in neurologist's offices and NICU units, in obstetrician's offices, in emergency rooms, and during ultrasounds. We were initiated with somber telephone calls, consultations, evaluations, blood tests, x-rays, MRI films, and heart surgeries.

All of us have one thing in common. One day things were fine. We were pregnant, or we had just given birth, or we were nursing our newborn, or we were playing with our toddler. Yes, one minute everything was fine. Then, whether it happened in an instant, as it often does, or over the course of a few weeks or months, our entire lives changed. Something wasn't quite right. Then we found ourselves mothers of children with special needs.

We are united, we sisters, regardless of the diversity of our children's special needs. Some of our children undergo chemotherapy. Some need respirators and ventilators. Some are unable to talk, some are unable to walk. Some eat through feeding tubes. Some live in a different world. We do not discriminate against those mothers whose children's needs are not as "special" as our child's. We have mutual respect and empathy for all the women who walk in our shoes.

We are knowledgeable. We have educated ourselves with whatever materials we could find. We know the specialists in the field. We know the neurologists, the hospitals, the wonder drugs, the treatments. We know the tests that need to be done, we know the degenerative and progressive diseases and we hold our breath while our children are tested for them. Without formal education, we could become board certified in neurology, endocrinology and physiatry.

We have taken on our insurance companies and school boards to get what our children need to survive, and to flourish. We have prevailed upon the State to include augmentative communication devices in special education classes and mainstream schools for our children with cerebral palsy. We have labored to prove to insurance companies that medical necessity of gait trainers and other adaptive equipment for our children with spinal cord defects. We have sued municipalities to have our children properly classified so they could receive education and evaluation commensurate with their diagnosis.

We have learned to deal with the rest of the world, even if that means walking away from it. We have tolerated scorn in supermarkets during "tantrums" and gritted our teeth while discipline was advocated by the person behind us in line. We have tolerated inane suggestions and home remedies from well-meaning strangers. We have tolerated mother of children without special needs complaining about chicken pox and ear infections. We have learned that many of our closest friends can't understand what it's like to be in our sorority, and don't even want to try.

We have our own personal copies of Emily Perl Kingsley's "A Trip to Holland" and Erma Bombeck's "The Special Mother." We keep them by our bedside and read and reread them during our toughest hours.

We have coped with holidays. We have found ways to get our physically handicapped children to the neighbors' front doors on Halloween and have found ways to help our deaf children form the words, "Trick or treat." We have accepted that our children with sensory dysfunction will never wear velvet or lace on Christmas. We have painted a canvas of lights and a blazing Yule log with our words for our blind children. We have pureed turkey on Thanksgiving. We have bought white chocolate bunnies for Easter. And all the while, we have tried to create a festive atmosphere for the rest of our family.

We've gotten up every morning since our journey began wondering how we'd make it through another day, and gone to bed every evening not sure how we do it. We mourn the fact that we never got to relax and sip red wine in Italy. We've mourned the fact that our trip to Holland has required much more baggage than we ever imagined when we first visited the travel agent. And we've mourned because we left for the airport without most of the things we needed for the trip.

But we, sisters, we keep the faith always. We never stop believing. Our love for our special children and our belief in all that they will achieve in life knows no bounds. We dream of them scoring touchdowns and extra points and home runs. We visualize them running sprints and marathons. We dream of them planting vegetable seeds, riding horses and chopping down trees. We hear their angelic voices singing Christmas carols. We see their palette smeared with watercolors, and their fingers flying over ivory keys in a concert hall. We are amazed at the grace of their pirouettes. We never, never stop believing in all they will accomplish as they pass through this world.

But in the meantime, my sisters, the most important thing to do, is hold tight to their little hands as together, we special mothers and our special children, reach for the stars!

By Maureen K. Higgins

Wooo hoooo!  Release date on Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is set for July 16th in the US, UK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa. 

I DJ can't wait!

I know I probably shouldn't be all giddy about this, but I am dammit!  I just found out my grades for the semester:

Intro - A+
Intro to Word Processing & the Internet - A+
Business & Financial Math - A+
American Government - A+

I can't believe I set those goals for myself way back when and I actually accomplished them!!!!!!  How freakin cool is that?

In the beginning of December, I posted this article to my blog.  Ellen Notbohm, the author of the article, graciously asked me if I would instead link directly to the article due to copyright infringement.  Ellen just emailed me and let me know I could show the article on my blog!  Ellen is also the author of 1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children With Autism Spectrum Disorders.  Pick up your copy today.  She also welcomes emails. 

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What Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew

By Ellen Notbohm

Some days it seems the only predictable thing about it is the unpredictability; the only consistent attribute, the inconsistency. There is little argument on any level but that autism is baffling, even to those who spend their lives around it. The child who lives with autism may look "normal," but his or her behavior can be perplexing and downright difficult.

But the citadel of autism, once thought an "incurable" disorder, is now cracking around the foundation. Every day, individuals with autism show us they can overcome, compensate for, and otherwise manage many of its most challenging aspects. Equipping those around our children with a simple understanding of autism's most basic elements has a tremendous effect on the children's journey towards productive, independent adulthood.

Autism is an extremely complex disorder, but we can distill it to what I call The Big Three--sensory processing difficulties, speech/language delays and impairments, and whole child/social interaction issues.

Here is what every child with autism wishes you knew.

First and foremost...

I am a child with autism. I am not "autistic." My autism is one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings, and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)?

Next, sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is possibly the most critical.

My sensory perceptions are disordered. This means the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches of everyday life that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you, but I am really just trying to defend myself.

A "simple" trip to the grocery store may be hell for me. My hearing may be hyperacute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loud speaker booms today's special. Musak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough. A coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can't filter all the input, and I'm in overload!

My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn't quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn't showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they're mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammoniaI can't sort it all out, I'm too nauseous.

Because I am visually oriented, this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is too bright. It makes the room pulsate and hurts my eyes. Sometimes the pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing--the space seems to be constantly changing. There's glare from windows, moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion--too many items for me to be able to focus, and I may compensate with tunnel vision. All this affects my vestibular sense, and now I can't even tell where my body is in space.

Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary are major challenges.

Please remember to distinguish between won't (I choose not to) and can't (I'm not able to). It isn't that I don't listen to instructions. It's that I can't understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: "*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*" Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: "Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It's time to go to lunch." This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it's much easier for me to comply.

I am a concrete thinker. I interpret language literally. It's very confusing for me when you say, "Hold your horses, cowboy!" when what you really mean is "Please stop running." Don't tell me something is a "piece of cake" when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is, "This will be easy for you to do." When you say, "It's pouring cats and dogs," I see pets coming out of a pitcher. Please just tell me, "It's raining very hard." Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, and sarcasm are lost on me.

Be patient with my limited vocabulary. It's hard for me to tell you what I need when I don't know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened, or confused, but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation, or other signs that something is wrong.

There's a flip side to this--I may sound like a little professor or a movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits, because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, television, or the speech of other people. It's called echolalia. I don't necessarily understand the context or the terminology I'm using, I just know it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.

Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.

A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day planner, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transitions between activities, and helps me manage my time and meet your expectations. Here's a great website for learning more about visual schedules: www.cesa7.k12.wi.us/sped/autism/structure/str11.htm.

Don't let autism cause you to lose sight of the whole child. Self-esteem is critical. Focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can't do. Like any other human, I can't learn in an environment where I'm constantly made to feel that I'm not good enough and I need fixing. Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however "constructive," becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you'll find them. There's more than one right way to do most things.

Help me with social interactions. It may look like I don't want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it's just that I simply don't know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, I may be delighted to be included.

Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. This is termed the antecedent. Melt-downs, blow-ups, tantrums, or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented.

If you are a family member, please love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, "If he would just . . ." and "Why can't she . . .?" You didn't fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you, and you wouldn't like being constantly reminded of it. I didn't choose to have autism. Remember that it's happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you--I'm worth it.

And finally...

Three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. I may not be good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed I don't lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates, or pass judgment on other people? And I probably won't be the next Michael Jordan, but with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.

They had autism too.

It won't happen without you as my foundation. Think through some of those societal rules, and if they don't make sense for me, let them go. Be my advocate, be my friend, and we'll see just how far I can go.

Ellen Notbohm is an author and consultant in Portland, Oregon, and founder of Third Variation Strategies in Portland, Oregon. She can be reached at ellen@thirdvariation.com. Her column, "Postcards from the Road Less Traveled," appears in Autism/Asperger's Digest.

Evidently I need to go to school with DJ.  I must have been absent years ago the day(s) they taught us how to use scissors to cut a straight line.

DJ's going to think the elves were tipping the bottle when they were wrapping presents this year.  

A little background on WHY I decided to put DJ on Super NuThera:  It all started when I was going to take PIC out for her birthday in August.  Two days before, I had just purchased some Spiderman vitamins for DJ.  Two days later, DJ decided he REALLY liked the vitamins.  I came in from the from grocery shopping and saw him eating.  Pops was asleep, of course.  I asked what he was eating and told me the Spiderman vitamins.  Mind you, my son never does stuff like this.  Though I would never do this, I could probably leave him in the house and go out for a few hours.  He would just sit there and watch TV, or play video games.  I do put the meds up high (not like this matters, because his tall behind can reach everything I can), but that day Pops had given him his vitamins and he left them on the counter.

So, of course I start to panic.  I dump out all the vitamins and count them.  He ate about 10 of them.  Now I'm REALLY freaking out.  I called poison control and told them what happened.  Luckily, with his size and weight, he would need about 20 vitamins in order to even THINK about taking him to the ER.  PHEW!  But, seriously, I was scared beyond belief. 

Still being the scared, anal Mommy I am, I didn't go out that night.  Instead we decided we'd throw a little party for PIC at the house.  DJ's behavior was indescribable.  He was talking (he does talk alot, but it's usually about movies or other stuff - narrowed interests), playing, being very very social.  Major eye contact, focus, no tantrums, etc.  Of course he was up until 3am with all those vitamins in his system.  But I was amazed at the difference in him.

I mentioned it on my Asperger support group.  I joked around saying I should give him 10 vitamins a day if that's the kind of behavior I"m going to get.  One of the fathers on there started telling me about dye free vitamins and how they're really great and show some improvements.  He said his daughter was on Super NuThera and there were major improvements.

I tried the regular dye free gummy vitamins.  You can buy them at the local pharmacy.  Saw small improvements but nothing major.  After about 2 months, and many many days of research, I decided to go with the Super NuThera. 

He started on Super NuThera caplets a week or two before Thanksgiving.  He's supposed to get 3 a day for his weight but being the anal Mommy I am, I started him on 1/2 pill.  I increased his dosage by 1/2 pills every few days or so.  At the beginning of December, he was up to 3 pills a day.  1 1/2 in the morning before school and 1 1/2 after school. 

The most prominent change was in his tantrums/meltdowns, whatever you want to call them.  He has a very low tolerance for frustration.  The littlest tiniest thing could set him off.  I'm talking serious little things, such as picking up his jacket off the floor all the way up to bedtime.  He argued with me about EVERYTHING.  NOTHING was fair, etc, etc.  With autistic kids, once they get frustrated, it's really hard to get them out of that "zone". 

The side effects (if you get any) are not severe-at all.  One is an increase in hyperactivity.  DJ is hyper already so I dont' really see any change in it.  He's not hyper in a bad way...just always on the go.  It really doesn't bother me.  Parents have given their kids magnesia baths 3x a week to get rid of this side effect.

Another one I heard is a tummy ache.  Give the vitamins with food!  Don't give them on an empty stomach.  DJ never had a problem with this because I heard about this beforehand.  I always gave it at breakfast and snacktime. 

The last known side effect are leg pains which means the dose is too high.  I didn't start DJ on a high dose so I didn't have any problems with this.  Three are just fine for him. 

It's pricey, but they worked for him.  They do have trial sizes available for about $10 - they lasted me over a month.  Today I just purchased the full size which costs $50 (540 pills).  It will last approximately 6 months.  But $50 is really nothing to me as long as it works. 

DJ can swallow pills, which is why I give him the caplets.  He is on no other meds, no other vitamins.  I heard the powders and liquids are horrible tasting no matter what you mix them in.  One parent I know whose child will not swallow pills takes the capsules.  The open up the capsules and put it in a bowl of pudding.  No problems.

I was going to start DJ on the Feingold Diet in January (which is a step under the gluten free casein free diet.)  His teacher and I discussed and I'm going to hold off on it.  She didn't see improvements at first but an adult aspie I know told me it takes about 6 weeks to get them to start working at full strength.  He hasn't been on the three pills for six weeks yet and we want to see how he acts on them next month.  Maybe there will be more improvements. 

There has been one or two days he hasn't gotten his afternoon dose.  Watch out!  The frustrations come back that easily. 

I love me some good news!  Yesterday I had a parent/teacher conference at DJ's school.  His teacher told me DJ is doing SO MUCH BETTER with the new vitamins I have him on.  I am so glad.  I have been noticing a significant improvement at home, but they haven't really seen it at school except in the past few weeks.   His tantrums have basically become non-existant.  Well, I guess because there used to be so many, they seem so little now.  He doesn't get as frustrated as much.

She said he's doing well on all of his classwork.  He's starting to pay attention more.  She thinks as the weeks progress, he might be less distracted.  His report card was all B's and 2 C's.  The C's were in Art and Music.  (HUH?)  True, DJ is not big on art...AT ALL!  But he loves music.  Absolutely loves music.  But, I don't care.  As long as he passes and he's doing well on the other subjects I'll be happy. 

All in all, I'm a happy camper with the report.  Now I don't feel too bad for dropping $300 on him for Christmas.  I still don't know about all this mainstream stuff.  I don't think they'll be able to mainstream him without meds and I'm really not trying to go that route.  All the kids in his class are medicated.  Luckily DJ is so cute, they ignore the fact he is mega hyper.  His teacher actually put bungee cords on his chair so he wouldn't rock out of it. 

In school they've been learning about the different holiday traditions.  We're sort of catholic:)  He comes home the other day and decides we need to start celebrating Hanakkuh (sp?) and Kwanzaa along with Christmas every year.  Whatever, little man.  If that's what you want, that's what you'll get.  I did tell him though to only expect presents at Christmas.  The other holidays we're just going to celebrate spiritually.  No gift giving.  Momma's wallet can't take the hit!  This weekend I'm going out to pick up the Kwanzaa candles and stuff because we have to start celebrating that on the 26th. 

Looks like Dec 2005 is going to be a little busy for me:)  I think he's just looking for an excuse to party.

Ok, not REALLY.  But this picture of him is hilarious.  Matter of fact I can't even describe it.  Take a stroll over to Teeters's Thoughtpad and check it out. 

It seems as if I'm a popular one.  Why, you ask?  Remember Mr. Big and the lightbulb fiasco.

Mr. Big is up to his old tricks.  Didn't I break up with his sorry ass way back when?  How come he kissed me today in the elevator?  What the fuck was that all about?  Don't I have enough problems (men=problems)?  Lucky for him the elevator doors opened right away and there was people standing there so he didn't get to hear what was on mind.  Such as WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU KISSING ME?

So Dawn and Michelle want more.  So here goes.  This guy works and lives at my apartment complex.  About a year ago he came to fix something and I thought this guy was H - O - T!!!!  His lips - he has this habit of licking his lips while he's talking.  It's one of the sexiest things I've ever seen!  He has dreamy bedroom eyes and...wait, I digress. 

Of course I see him all the time.  He FINALLY asked me for my number a little while ago and we've been talking and hanging out since then.  The first time was kind of rushed so it wasn't as great as I thought it would be:)  But last night, WOW.  As I said, he rocked my world.  He's definitely a keeper. 

To break it all down, he's hot, funny, intelligent, and he's great in bed.  What more could a girl ask for???  Let's not forget, he can fix EVERYTHING. 

Ahhh, life is so good.  Merry Christmas to me:)